Maternal-Ty – Life-giving Gifts of the Generations…

My mum has this quality about her – in fact – she has, for as long as I can recall. Nurturing, caring, loving, and with this almost eerie sense of knowing what I needed or what was going on for me which has freaked me out at times.

Maternal nurturing, the gift of life itself and these values and fundamental life lessons are often instilled by our mothers or the provider of maternal energy in our life from an early age. And, unsurprisingly we then replicate this – enhanced by our own learning and insights – to instil in our children their set of maternal-Ty to be graced upon their offspring one day… that, in a way, is the cycle of life and while not at all devaluing the role of the father, male and masculine nurturer and teacher – given Mother’s Day is celebrated this month, we will honour mums today.

Kaz (59) grandmother, mother, daughter

“I grew up watching mum do so much, endlessly pouring love and nurturing into me and my siblings. She gave the best hugs with her big mama-bear arms and was the backbone of our clan.  Mum was the matriarch instilling values of caring, doing the right thing even when no one was looking, and giving it your best. Something that I can see, looking back now that I am a grandmother of two, actually made the very fabric of my own mothering and now grand mothering.

Healthy, happy choices led me through my life that were seeded by my mum in the earliest of days. And these values, apart from my own; becoming a yoga teacher, healing advocate and nurturer, I can now detect in my daughters.

If I was to wrap up my mother’s pearls of wisdom they would be – do your best, be positive and do the right thing – always. It’s what made me enjoy taking her out as much as I could in the final months and days of her life, rather than just sitting on her bed’s edge. We made memories, celebrated the life lived and I could let her go without a hint of regret when the time came. Thank you forever mum!

Kirsty (38) mother of four

“My mother left me and my older sister, it never made sense to me and probably never will, but I guess she had her reasons. It meant that I was raised primarily by my dad who became my rock, my nurturer, and mum and dad rolled into one. He was and still is fantastic – without him I would not be the person that I am today. But I needed maternal and mother energy which I never got from mum nor from the woman my dad married after mum left, who funnily enough was my original babysitter from across the street growing up. But, it was her mother who tucked me under her nurturing motherly wing from as young as I can remember.

She is and always was the source of my maternal nurturing. I loved going to her house, following her around, learning her ways, and being indoctrinated into the art of mothering, running a house, being a wife, and leading a life of strong values.

I don’t think that I could have pulled off having a family if it was not for her. Now, I have four children, each very different in their personalities and I feel blessed every day to be their mum, giving them all I’ve learned from my pseudo mother, come grandmother-in-law.  Giving my children that sense that they can do and be anything they want, to do the right thing and to know they are loved for the individual they are is so rewarding. I guess it doesn’t really matter where we get nurturing from, be it dad, a neighbour or a stranger – as long as we do get it.”

Reflection…

Watching my two elder daughters these days, I can already see the type of mums they will be one day and it fills me with joy.

In fact, I feel that the caring, nurturing, pre-emptive fatherly mothering energy I had applied to my own two daughters when they were young (now 20 and 28) to is now being directed toward my 83-year-old mum as her need to be cared for grows. The cycles of life…