Business
Why it’s never ‘just business’ for female entrepreneurs
“It’s just business.” “Don’t take it personally.” “Your business is not you.”
Women across the entrepreneurial landscape have probably heard phrases like these on more than one occasion. Some may even have tried to convince themselves that these phrases are true.
And, of course, logically speaking, these phrases all make sense. A business, after all, is not a direct and physical part of who we are. It doesn’t seem to make sense that we get so personally affected by the happenings inside our business.
Time and again, women are told, “For your own good, leave work at work.” And that sounds simple enough doesn’t it? Except for when it’s not.
For women entrepreneurs, having a business is almost always more than just a business.
It’s often an expression of our values, our dreams, and our interests. It’s a representation of our strengths and a way that we can use our skills to make a difference for others.
Every action, dream, aspiration, and activity conducted in business is, therefore, more like an extension of self for many women. Have you ever heard a passionate businesswoman talk about her business? “It’s my baby,” she says, which implies there’s a whole lot more emotional connection to the entity than ‘just business’.
Unlike men, who are more naturally able to compartmentalise parts of their lives, women experience the world as an interconnected web. Business impacts family – family is impacted by the business.
And this is backed by science. A paper published by Frontiers in Human Neuroscience recently shared the results of 290 MRI scans that prove our brains really are wired differently.
Brain scans of both male and female brains consistently show that women have more neurological pathways that connect both hemispheres of the brain – meaning we bounce between logical/reason and emotion/feeling far more often than men. And because of this constant communication between the two hemispheres, it means we also connect emotions to more of our daily activities – like our business.
And when a woman connects emotion to something, that emotional reaction activates a torrent of evidence to support that emotion. Which, if it’s a positive emotion, is a good thing. but when it’s something negative – then we have a problem.
For example, when it comes to business, let’s take a typical business meeting.
Logically we can go into it knowing that it’s just about business. But if we are also concerned about being judged for example – BAM – the minute that thought enters our brains, our unconscious mind is flooded with every past example where we’ve been judged in the past. This means we go into that meeting seeing or projecting examples of past judgements on the faces of all those attendees at that meeting.
It’s never just a business meeting in a woman’s mind. It’s an opportunity for her to fail (or succeed), for her to be heard (or not), and for her efforts to be validated (or rejected). And the outcome is almost always a reflection of her. Conversely, for men, the outcome of a meeting, if negative, is almost always seen in his mind as the ‘fault’ of someone, or something else.
“Generally speaking, men are more externally oriented, women are more internally oriented” Maz Schirmer, founder of the Institute of Women International explains, which means women are more likely to take things personally – be it in business or elsewhere in life.
So how can women entrepreneurs find a healthier balance with their emotional connection to business? Here are 4 top tips that may help:
- Set firm boundaries between your business life and personal life
- Do the inner work – recognise that unresolved fears or insecurities are projected into your actions and business and can overcomplicate things unnecessarily
- When you do take things personally, spend some time to separate the event from you as an individual person
- Celebrate the emotional connection you have with your business – when harnessed positively, this can provide women in business an immense amount of inspiration and drive
